You might remember a time when those bracelets with the “WWJD?” inscription were popular. It was designed as a reminder for the wearer to act in a way he or she valued and wanted to emulate. This provided a path for Christians, but what about those who didn’t believe? Anyone can ask themselves a similar question: “What would I be doing in this situation if I were being the person I want to be?” You no longer have to compare yourself to the son of God. Simply craft a vision of the person you want to be.
It is very similar to the process companies go through when deciding their vision, values, and mission. Why not follow the same process for our personal lives as well? What is your vision of the person you want to be? If you were being your best self, how would you behave?
Determine the guiding principles and values by wish you choose to live your life. If you are an adult, you no longer must live by the values of another; you get to choose the ideals you want to emulate in your private life: kindness, success, wealth, fairness, friendship, power, loyalty, competition, cooperation, respect, honesty—you get the idea. These values become the measurements of how you make your decisions. Your values are the tools you use to help you decide what to do in every situation, not just when things are going well. How can you know what to do if you haven’t identified your highest values?
Here is the process of self-transformation:
- Develop your own true north and understand the path you are on by staying true to your values, beliefs, and direction. Write out your vision statement for your life and determine your life’s purpose.
- Identify supporters and detractors. Surround yourself with your supporters and limit or eliminate time with detractors.
- In every situation, ask yourself the question, “If I were being the person I want to be, what would I do in this situation?” Access your values and higher ideals to answer this question.
- Assess the likely consequences, both positive and negative, and prepare for those consequences.
- Line yourself up and act in the way you would if you were being the person you wanted to be.
There will likely be saboteurs along the way. You will have strangers, friends, and enemies alike who don’t want you to succeed. When you lead your life by values instead of situations, others may not appreciate your new direction. You have changed and are no longer the person they want you to be. In systems theory, when you change one part of the system, the entire system must adjust to compensate for the change. If those around you don’t want you to change, they will be invested in keeping you just the way you are. Watch out for this kind of external sabotage.
The second kind of sabotage comes from within. Self-sabotage can be your worst enemy and it requires your constant attention to overcome it. When we choose certain behaviors under certain circumstances, our brain creates neural pathways that trigger us into behaving the same way under similar circumstances. It takes a conscious effort to redirect these pathways and make different choices; we need to override our default brain chemistry in order to do something differently. If you are serious, you must be vigilant. Getting an accountability partner, a coach, or a mentor can help you overcome self-sabotage.
Enjoy your transformation into becoming the person you want to be.
My Choosing Me Now retreat can help you with your self-transformation process. Join me in beautiful warm San Antonio, Texas in February and begin your journey to a new you!
Kim, this was a beautiful reading, thank you for your reflective thoughts and for just being such a wonderful human being, i appreciate you so much and value your words of wisdom!