April 10 is designated as National Erase Self-Negativity Day… if only it were that easy!
Have you ever noticed how you can be your own worst critic? That’s true for most of us, and here’s why:

1. Our Brains Are Hardwired for Negativity

Our default mode is to notice what’s wrong instead of celebrating what’s right—especially when it comes to ourselves. I’ve often asked people to make two lists: one of their strengths and one of what they need to improve. Almost without exception, the improvement list is much longer. Sound familiar?

2. Our Childhood Experiences Shaped Us

Even the best parents occasionally say something hurtful out of frustration. Children are wonderful and amazing—but also challenging. It’s nearly impossible to make it through childhood without a few scars. If your parents lost their temper even once, you probably remember it vividly—especially if strong emotions were involved. Those words can become embedded in your self-concept. And if you grew up with constant criticism? That can result in deep-rooted self-doubt that’s hard to shake.

3. We Fear Becoming Vain

Maybe you were taught that modesty is a virtue—or you hold that belief yourself. You might see self-love as vanity or arrogance and worry that appreciating yourself too much will lead you down an obnoxious path. This can keep you stuck in a cycle of constant self-improvement, never quite allowing yourself to feel “good enough.”

No matter the reason, if you’re constantly criticizing yourself, others, or your life, it might be time to step off the negativity treadmill and try a more generous, compassionate approach.

5 Steps to Start Erasing Self-Negativity

Step 1: Find Your “Why”

You need a compelling reason to change. Maybe you believe that negativity drives growth or shields you from disappointment—but that’s a myth. Real motivation comes from positive energy. As cellular biologist Bruce Lipton explains, cells are either in protection mode or growth mode—they can’t be in both. The same goes for you. When you criticize yourself, you shut down growth.

Step 2: Build Awareness

Self-negativity is likely a well-worn habit by now—something you do without thinking. Habits can’t be broken without awareness. Pay attention. Catch yourself in the act so you can consciously choose to respond differently.

Step 3: Create a Positive Reframe Toolkit

Don’t just try to stop being negative—replace that pattern with something new. Prepare a mental inventory of your positive qualities, accomplishments, and efforts. For example:
“Whenever I catch myself thinking ‘I’m not good enough,’ I will remind myself that I’m kind and help others.”

Step 4: Challenge the Negative Voice

It might feel awkward at first—negativity is more familiar. If you’re afraid of becoming arrogant, don’t worry: This isn’t about delusions of grandeur. You can start by simply asking,
“Is what I’m telling myself really true? How do I know?” Often, the harsh inner voice echoes someone else’s criticism that says more about them than it does about you.

Step 5: Forgive Yourself and Keep Going

You won’t be perfect. No one is. When you’re tired, stressed, or overwhelmed, your old habits may resurface. Don’t let a moment of weakness define your progress. Forgive yourself, course-correct, and keep moving forward. You deserve a life free from the burden of self-criticism.

These strategies are covered in greater depth during Session Four of the Mental Freedom Experience, where you’ll learn to free yourself from the limiting beliefs that hold you back—and unlock a more empowered, self-compassionate version of yourself.