This post continues my list of Relationships A – Z from J to Q. Enjoy the read but more importantly, put these ideas into practice in your relationship if you aren't already.
J = Eliminate Jealousy
Your partner is not your possession. Jealousy will not bring you closer. Jealousy stems from four root causes: insecurity, past experiences, thinking your partner is your possession and expecting things to never change. Do you know where yours comes from?
When in a loving relationship, you want to treat your partner with kindness, even when it's not returned. You are kind because you never know when either you or your partner will have your last day on earth and you are kind because that is the kind of person you want to be.
L = Listening
I'm not talking about simply listening to hear. I'm talking about listening for understanding. Instead of tuning out or just waiting for your partner to take a breath, really listen to try to see where he or she is coming from. You don't have to find agreement, just a better understanding. This will really help you when we get to the letter "N."
M = Maintenance
Getting the guy/girl is not the end, but rather just the beginning. What are you doing to nurture your long-term relationship?
N = Negotiating Differences
In any relationship, there will be times when you want different things. Most of the time, when you and someone else want different things, you try to figure out how you can get what you want.
When you are negotiating differences, you have a completely different mindset. Now you are concerned with both getting what you want AND helping the other person get what he or she wants too. When you have this mindset of both win, it becomes relatively easy to find a solution.
O = Openness
Transparency is important in a loving relationship. Being a private person is great, but in a loving relationship, you don't want to keep secrets from your partner. A long term committed relationship is a huge gift you give one another. Reward each other with transparency so a strong bond of trust can develop.
P = Pamper
Don’t just pamper your partner when you are getting to know each other. Continuing the pampering forever! Instead of focusing on the things your partner does that are annoying to you, put your focus on the things you love. When you focus on the positive, you’d be surprised at how easy it is to continue the pampering long after the “I Dos.”
Q = Quixotic
I know, I was definitely reaching for a “Q” word here but allow me to provide the definition since I never knew this word before searching the dictionary. According to Webster, quixotic means: absurdly or extravagantly romantic or chivalrous. It goes right along with Pamper. Don’t stop the romance or chivalry just because you “got” the guy or girl. Continue it forever. The more you love each other, the more you will love each other.