I once contracted with a government agency where employees seemed to measure time differently from the rest of us.
I’d begin a training by asking everyone to introduce themselves by sharing their names, the work they actually do, not their job title, and something else they’d like to share. The first person would start with my name is Bob Smith. I do ____________ and I have 13 years, 4 months, and 23 days until my retirement and then everyone in the room would follow suit. It had become part of their culture. That is so sad to me.
At one end of the loving-your-work continuum you have people counting the number of days till they can retire almost from their day of hire and at the other end is me.
I’m 66-years-old; I just had a birthday. At my last class reunion, many people were happily discussing when they planned to retire and what they were planning to do in retirement. Inevitably, many people asked me, “When are you planning to retire?”
Interestingly, I have no retirement plans. I’m still creating, teaching, writing, traveling, and starting new things. I get to do all the things in my job that other people plan to do in their retirement. As I type this, I’m on a plane to Brisbane, Australia, where I’ll be “working,” but also sharing ideas I’m passionate about and meeting really cool people. It doesn’t feel like work to me at all.
What makes work something one person is counting the days to escape while another doesn’t particularly want to stop?
There’s a familiar saying about work that has often been attributed to Confucius, although there’s no good evidence he ever said it. The earliest strong match researchers have found appeared in a 1982 Princeton Alumni Weekly article quoting philosophy professor Arthur Szathmary: “Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Interestingly, even Szathmary didn’t claim the saying as his own. He credited an unnamed “old-timer” he knew.
Whoever first said it, I believe there’s a lot of truth in it. Loving your work doesn’t mean you must love every task required to do it. There will likely be things you don’t love doing along the journey, but when you keep the work you love in focus, the work leading to that end doesn’t have to feel like drudgery.
I’m a living example of that. The work I love is Mental Freedom®. For it to gain broader acceptance within psychology and certain professional and institutional settings, building an evidence base matters. Achieving recognition as an evidence-based practice (EBP) evidence-based practice requires scholarly research. (EBP) requires scholarly research. I strongly dislike doing research myself, although I understand the value it brings. While I keep EBP in my sights, I still don’t love research itself, but I’ve found myself surprisingly engaged in writing scholarly papers because I’m so invested in what the research could make possible for Mental Freedom.
The Title Isn’t Literally True
Work you love is still work. There are aspects of that work you’d gladly hand over to someone else. For me it’s things like emails, marketing, deadlines, finances, technology, and the research I mentioned. In fact, some of those things I have handed over to others, but not before I did most of them myself first.
There will almost always be tedious parts of what you need to do, but a compelling why can make a lot of otherwise tedious hows worth doing.
The goal isn’t to eliminate work. We all need money to survive and to live the life we want. Having a way to earn consistent income is important to our overall survival and success. However, that pursuit doesn’t have to be drudgery when you have found the work you love and dare I say, work that feels especially meaningful to you.
Integrating the work you choose into the life you want is the key. Work shouldn’t be something you endure until your real life begins. I’ve known many people who put off traveling until retirement and they find in retirement, they lack the energy or health to pursue the life they dreamed of.
Work Can Satisfy More Than Your Need for a Paycheck
One reason meaningful work can feel so different from drudgery is that it can satisfy multiple needs simultaneously.
When you think of the work you do, does it satisfy any of your basic needs for: Connection, Freedom, Significance, Joy, and Safety & Security? Mine definitely hits them all. Work meets my Connection need because I’m able to help people who need it and am constantly meeting people I genuinely like.
It satisfies my need for Freedom because there’s no one I have to answer to. I am the decision-maker, and my work allows me to travel to interesting places while other people pay for it, so I can be free of financial obligation when I return. My need for Significance is met when I see the results of my work in other people’s lives.
It satisfies my need for Joy because it is adventurous and I often learn as much as I teach from participants, and from cultural experiences along the way. And finally, Safety & Security—I must be real… it also pays the bills.
You May Not Simply “Find” the Work You Love
Sometimes you do stumble upon it; other times you need to create or evolve it. Work tends to show us what is possible. My very first job was babysitting, and that helped me understand a little about what it might be like to one day become a mother. My next jobs were in the food industry serving people from the Tastee Freez to high end restaurants. I learned that I loved meeting new people and talking with them.
I had one job I hated, and that was scraping dishes and trays in the cafeteria after college students had eaten. This was messy, tedious, and humbling work, but it helped me pay the bills. It was a college work study job. Next, I was promoted to working in the registrar’s office pasting people’s grades to their grade sheets. Of course, this was prior to computers and data processors.
After that, everything I did was psychology-based. I literally knew from 5th grade that this was what I wanted to do. I believe I was uniquely made and refined to do the work I do. You may feel that way about your work, too. Or you may simply be looking for work that fits you better than what you’re doing now.
Your work often provides hints and opens doors along the way. When you choose to walk through those doors, it can change you; you evolve. Every door either takes you closer to the work you want to do or shows you what you definitely don’t want to do. What has your work taught you about the kind of work that fits you?
Entrepreneurism Isn’t a Requirement
For me, becoming an entrepreneur was essential. In both of the jobs I had after college, it became clear to me that I wanted to be in charge of the work I did and didn’t want to answer to bosses I didn’t respect. But that’s not the only way.
You may not be able to create your ideal job, but you may have more influence over your work than you’ve considered. You can stay in your job and redesign responsibilities, specialize, work with a different population, reduce your hours, add teaching or consulting, change how you work, or even pitch an idea to administration and create a new position within your current company. These things can matter and move you closer to the work you’ll love.
Of course, not every workplace will allow this. If you are working in a rigid environment or with a boss who wants everything their way, your choices will be narrower. You can consider staying in the job while doing the work you love on the side or as a hobby. For some people, work itself will be deeply fulfilling. For others, the right job may be one that provides the income, flexibility, and security that allows them to build a fulfilling life outside it.
The Downside of Loving Your Work
When you love your work, it can be difficult to stop. “I love what I do” can become excellent justification for overworking. I know a little something about that. There are days, I wake up and start working, and sometimes I don’t stop until I’m bleary-eyed and desperately need sleep. I don’t recommend that, but I’ve fallen prey to this downside.
When work doesn’t feel like something you’re trying to escape, you may need to become more intentional about stopping it. What else do you value that can get crowded out precisely because work is so satisfying?
Self-evaluation
When you think about what you do inside and outside of work, what energizes you? What drains you? What do you want more of? What might you want less of? What can you change without changing careers? What does your work make possible in the rest of your life? Do you need to love your work, or do you need your work to support a life you love?
Don’t spend your working life waiting for your real life to begin. Maybe you love your work, maybe it supports a life you love, and maybe you’re gradually reshaping it toward something that fits you better.
Create work that becomes part of the life you want, rather than work you endure until the life you want begins.
You don’t have to discover oneperfect calling or love every minute of your job. You can love the work itself, intentionally reshape it toward something that fits you better, or choose work that makes the rest of the life you love possible. What I wouldn’t want is for you to spend decades counting the days until you’re finally allowed to start living.
And creating a life you love requires more than thinking about your work. It also means making sure you haven’t left yourself out of the decisions you’re making about that life.
Reflection
If retirement weren’t your escape hatch, what would you want to change about the way you work now?
