Relationship Tip

Sometimes your partner might want something that interferes with your ability to have what you want. It is a challenge when this happens because usually your instinctual response it to attempt to get him or her to give up what they want so you can be happy. The problem is, that rarely works.

Usually when you attempt to control another person to do something they don’t want to do, they will respond with resistance. No one likes to be controlled. When you attempt to guilt, manipulate or nag your way to getting what you want, your partner recognizes your lack of support. He or she may do what they want anyway.

If you partner does give in to the manipulation, then he or she will be forcing themselves to give up something important to them to make you happy. This is likely to result in resentment toward you and a deep regret for missing the opportunity. This will not make you happy in the long run as you realize you are the object of your partner’s resentment and regret.

A better approach is to firmly support and encourage the things your partner wants to do. Then take responsibility for what you need. Figure out what need will be frustrated by your partner pursuing his or her passion and then work to get more of that need in your life. If you are attempting to preserve the relationship, you will want to choose options that will not endanger your relationship.

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