Do you want to understand privilege? Or does the very word make you bristle—especially when your life hasn’t felt easy or “privileged” at all? Maybe it feels like the deck has been stacked against you, and you hate when someone suggests that just because you’re white, you’re somehow privileged.
That reaction makes sense. Privilege can be a hard concept to grasp, especially when life has been full of struggle. Many of us believe everything we have, we earned through our own hard work. Let’s unpack that a bit.
Understanding Privilege
Privilege doesn’t mean your life has been easy—it means some parts of life haven’t been made harder by factors beyond your control. Things like skin color, gender, sexual orientation, physical ability, or citizenship can quietly smooth the path in ways you might never have noticed, simply because you’ve never had to.
There isn’t just economic privilege. There’s male privilege, white privilege, able-bodied privilege, heterosexual privilege, Christian privilege, and, increasingly, citizenship privilege. Having privilege doesn’t mean you haven’t faced adversity. It just means you haven’t had to face it in a body or identity that adds another layer of struggle.
The Privilege Assessment
If you’re unsure where you stand, take the Privilege Assessment (it’s free). It gives you an estimate of how privilege may show up in your life. No assessment can capture every nuance—some experiences may make you more or less privileged than your score suggests.
Remember, the assessment isn’t a judgment. It simply highlights where life may have been easier or harder for you than for others. And adversity, while it can lower privilege in some ways, can also build strength and resilience. Think of your score as an estimate, not a verdict.
The Myth of “I Earned It All Myself”
Many people resist the idea of privilege because they equate it with unearned handouts. It can feel insulting to be told you’ve had advantages when you’ve worked hard for everything you have.
I once came home from my job as a foster care supervisor—a role that was emotionally and intellectually demanding, though not physically exhausting. I told my husband I was worn out. He looked at me and said, “You call what you do work?” In his mind, real work required sweat and dirt.
We all tend to overestimate our own effort and underestimate others’. That’s human nature. But it also blinds us to privilege. We may assume our success comes solely from effort, when in truth, effort plus access plus advantage usually tells the full story.
Beyond Economics
Privilege conversations often start with money because economic inequality is visible and measurable. But privilege goes far beyond income.
A white man born into a modest household still benefits from systems that favor him—systems he didn’t create, ask for, or even notice. That doesn’t make him bad. It makes him response-able. Response-able to see what others face and to help level the playing field.
And while policies like affirmative action, diversity initiatives, or accessibility laws aim to reduce privilege gaps, they’ve never sought to reverse them—only to create fairer opportunities. When we design ramps, they help people in wheelchairs and people pushing strollers. When we make bathrooms unisex, everyone gains safety and comfort.
Equality doesn’t take anything away—it opens the same doors for everyone.
So, What Do You Do with Privilege?
You don’t get to choose whether you have privilege, but you do get to choose what to do with it. Denying it helps no one. Feeling guilty helps no one.
Instead, use it. Use your voice to amplify others who aren’t heard. Use your comfort to make space for those who aren’t safe. Use your access to open doors for those still knocking.
Privilege isn’t something to get rid of—it’s something to repurpose for good.
Conclusion
The truth is, privilege isn’t the enemy—blindness to it is. You didn’t ask for your privilege, but once you recognize it, you inherit a new response-ability: to see, to listen, and to act.
You can’t change where you started, but you can decide what kind of world your privilege will help build. The question isn’t “How do I get rid of privilege?”—it’s “How can I use it to make things fairer for everyone?”
