If you are a parent who uses a behavioral system for
your child in terms of a point or level system, where they earn points
for good behavior and lose privileges for bad behavior, my advice would
be to reexamine this program’s effectiveness. I know I have written
earlier that any type of external control is bad for relationships.
Attempting to bribe or reward someone into doing something they don’t
want to do is a gentle form of external control. Do you remember how
you felt if your significant other or your employer tried to get you to
do something you didn’t want to do by bribing you? It probably didn’t
feel too good, even if you wanted the reward offered. It doesn’t feel good to your child, either.
These programs are only effective for as long as the
reward continues to motivate your child. And after you remove the
reward system, your child’s behavior will gradually return to its
original state or worse, as research shows. The only way to truly obtain long-lasting,
effective change is by assisting your child to learn to develop
internally motivated, responsible behaviors to effectively meet his or
her needs. Empowerment Parenting can teach you how to get your child to
evaluate their own behavior and develop the internal motivation to want
to use responsible behaviors to get what they want.
To get your free 20-minute coaching consultation, click on the link, scoll down to the sign up box, fill it in fields and get my Empowerment Parenting teleconference ($10 value).