Pain Must Exceed Fear

InsideOut Empowerment Principle # 8: People do not change until the pain of staying the same exceeds their fear of change. You may have a superficial desire for something but until you can drill down deep enough to discover your real soul reason for wanting to make a change, it won’t happen. And then you will want to examine just how painful it will be to do nothing. Really flesh out the scenario. You want to create as much psychic pain as you can muster so you will make a change. Sometimes just wanting something is not enough. It must be more painful to do nothing than to risk the change.

Have you ever been in a relationship you knew wasn’t good for you but you keep hanging on anyway? People usually don’t leave jobs or relationships until the pain of staying in them exceeds their fear of change. That being said, someone with a high freedom need will be able to leave situations that are causing discomfort much more quickly than someone with a high survival need. Our need-strength profiles can influence many areas of our lives.

A high freedom person does not tolerate restrictive situations well so sometimes they will jump ship quite soon in the process. That’s because those restrictive situations register pain quite quickly for one who values freedom. A high survival person wants security. They can stay in jobs and relationships that are not nourishing because of the security factor. Neither way is right or wrong. Just recognize both people are getting what is most important to them.

Are you in a situation right now that’s painful but not painful enough to get you to make a change?

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