When we are thinking of making changes in our lives, all too often we
look externally. We have a perfect picture in our heads about what life
should look like, then we go about acting on life to give us whatever
it is we think would be perfect. The only problem with this approach is
that we are giving away our personal power.
Whenever we wait for certain things, people or conditions to be in
place in order to be “happy,” what do we do in the meantime? I’ll be
happy when my wife cooks more often or I’ll be happier if my husband
were more romantic. Or I’ll be happy when my children start listening
to what I say and stop sassing me every time I turn around. Or I’d be
very happy at work if my boss would just recognize the contributions I
make. This is when we want other people to match up to the perfect
world we have created in our minds.
Then, there are those situations when we make our happiness contingent
on certain things. I’ll be happy if I made more money. I can’t make
more money until I finish my degree. I’ll be happy when we can have our
own home. I’ll be happy if I can get a new job. I’ll be happy when my
parents are healthy. Again, I ask, “What does one do in the meantime?”
While it is perfectly acceptable to hope for things to be different in
your life and to strive to improve and make things better, it’s
unacceptable to waste your life on negative emotions. The Law of Attraction tells you
that you are what you think about and that what you keep in mind
expands. So, if you are always focused on the negatives and the things
you lack, then you will attract more negative into your life.
However, if you focus on the positive and what you have that’s good and
helpful, then you will attract more positive things into your life.
Which would you rather have? Then you must begin to change your
We have almost total control over our thinking. I know there are
unwelcome thoughts that intrude on our consciousness every day.
However, we have the power once they are there to focus our mind
elsewhere. All we need is to have a plan in place that whenever I think
about X, Y and Z—things I don’t want occupying my mind—then, I will
think about my summer vacation instead, for example. Focus on any
positive experience—past, present or future.
So why do you have to be the one who changes when it is obvious that
the “other person” is the one with the problem? Inside Out Empowerment
helps people put ownership of a problem where it belongs—with whoever
is the most upset about it. If you are angry because your husband
doesn’t take the trash out on time, then which one of you is the most
upset with the situation? You are—so it’s your problem. Your husband
probably doesn’t even notice that the garbage is an issue.
If you are certain your boss is a controlling, arrogant jerk, do you
think he or she is lying awake at night trying to figure out how to be
more sensitive? Most likely not. He or she is not even acknowledging a
problem. Fixing the problem comes with correct problem attribution.
Whose problem is it? Problems belong to the one most disturbed by them
and it is that person’s job to seek the solution.
Most of human suffering is our resistance to what exists in our life.
We become quite power hungry trying to change others to meet our needs.
What would happen if you simply accepted everyone where they are at,
without exception? What if you recognized that things are already
perfect just the way they are? Could you be more content and happier
with the life situations that already exist?
Inside Out Empowerment teaches individuals first to attribute the
problem to the correct individual and then works with the problem owner
to adjust his or her behavior. This allows the unhappy person to be in
the driver’s seat with his or her own emotions. Starting from the
inside out, people empower themselves by adjusting their own thoughts
and behavior to manage whatever life throws at them.
Inside Out Empowerment enables you to unleash your personal power in a
profound way. What are you waiting for?
Sign up for our free Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group that meets on the second Tuesday of every month at 8:45 PM ET/5:45 PM PT. I look forward to meeting you there.