If you knew you would be in the fight of your life tomorrow, it would be too late to begin your physical fitness conditioning today. If you haven’t already been training, you will lose that fight—it’s the same way with our emotional fitness conditioning. At some point, life is going to knock you down because that’s what life does; it’s too late to prepare for that challenge when you’re on your way down! If you want to manage the emotional crises that life will inevitably place on your path, it’s best to start now so that when you have fallen on your butt, you’ll have the skills to get up quickly. It’s like that Chinese proverb: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.”
Our current medical model of mental health provides help during and after a crisis, but little is offered before the crisis. The way we allow our minds to behave determines how we manage emotional crises. Some typical crises people experience during their lifetime that can be managed better with some emotional wellness conditioning:
- Death of someone close to you
- End of an important relationship
- End of a job
- Health challenges
- Relationship discord
- Transitions (empty nest, retirement, career changes, etc.)
- Natural disasters
- Trauma
Of course, these are just some of the things that can take us out. As a counselor and coach, I talk with people all day long about the challenges they experience in their lives. Life can be amazingly wonderful, but it can also be downright cruel and everything in between. It rarely makes announcements when you are in for a challenge, and it won’t wait until you are ready to handle it; it usually takes us by complete surprise, and down you go. No amount of conditioning will save you from experiencing the challenges in life, but you will be able to get back on your feet much sooner—as you are ready to.
Mainly what I’m talking about is strengthening your ability to control your thinking because our thoughts are what create our emotional experiences. Change your thoughts; change your emotional wellness; change your life. Here is a table of thoughts that you can work on practicing every day so when you really need them, they will already be there.
Helpless Thoughts | Powerful Thoughts |
I am broken. | I can figure this out. |
There’s nothing I can do. | There’s always something to do; I can learn to accept these circumstances. |
I’ve made so many mistakes. | I have had so many learning opportunities. |
You make me so happy/sad/angry/anxious. | I am in control of my emotions. |
I can’t be happy until you… | I choose happiness despite what happens around me. |
I can’t do that. | I could do it if I want to, or I can’t do that yet. |
I had no choice. | There are always choices. |
I need _____________. | I want or prefer __________________. |
I have so many regrets. | I accept the past and live in this moment. |
I am so worried about the possibilities. | I have planned for the known continencies of the future and enjoy this moment. |
How can I get them to…? | How can I create something they would want to…? |
I have no control over what’s happening. | I control how I respond. |
I can’t stop this from happening. | I can accept what I cannot change. |
These are just some examples of correcting our faulty thinking to something more empowering to boost our agency, strength, and resilience. It may not seem like much as you read them, but when you practice monitoring and correcting your weaker thoughts with more powerful ones, you are strengthening and expanding your emotional wellness. The best time to start this was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.
The Mental Freedom Experience is a program to strengthen emotional wellness while preventing emotional crises. Yes, you will still experience challenges, but you’ll know how to handle them without letting them explode into full-blown crises. Think of it as a gym for your mind and sign up today!