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We Want What Feels Good To Us
InsideOut Empowerment Tenant #4: What you want is based on what feels good to you (increasing pleasure or avoiding pain). Remember, what you want feels good to you. It may not feel good to everyone, especially those close to you. If people know what you want, they may judge you if they don’t think it’s a “good” thing to want. For example, my son quit college 18 credits shy of graduating. I certainly didn’t think that was a good thing. He didn’t want to go further in debt by going another semester. This was his choice, his decision, his life. There were many people in his life, who claim to love him, that told him what a mistake he made. It’s seven years later and he earns a six-figure income in a sales position in a rural area where the cost of living is less than most places in the US. Should he have graduated? Who can say conclusively? Perhaps the stress of owing more money for student loans would have caused him to do something desperate. We’ll never know. All I know is that it was his decision to make and my job was to support him in his right to make it.
Behavior is Always Proactive
InsideOut Empowerment Principle #3: Every behavior you choose, including your feelings, is designed to get you something you want. It is always proactive; never reactive, except for instinctual responses, for example sneezing, the startle response, or crying in response to pain. As long as we believe our behavior is reactive, then we are giving power and control to circumstances beyond our control and other people. For example, do you often say in the course of the day, “He makes me so mad”! Or can you hear yourself saying, “This situation is just so frustrating”? Those statements are simply not true. Nothing outside of you can create your emotions or generate a particular behavior in you. Your behavior is always created internally, motivated by and designed to get you something you want.
Your Perception is Your Reality and You Can Change It
Whatever happens in the outside world has no meaning other than the meaning you give it. Again, this is not a new concept but it is one that’s a little difficult to put into practice unless you’ve had some guidance and experience under your belt. When things happen we tend to place a value on them by labeling them as “good,” “bad,” “right” or “wrong.” This is not a terrible practice as long as you are only labeling things within your own life and not trying to push your assigned values onto others.
10 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Mental Health
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. We will go to the doctor for a physical checkup but how many of us engage in a mental health checkup? The goals of my process, InsideOut Empowerment, provides us with ten things we can do to improve our well-being and increase our happiness.
The Only Person’s Behavior You Can Control is Your Own
The only person’s behavior you can control is your own. Pretty much everyone knows this. It’s not a new concept. However, what do you spend the majority of your time and energy doing every day? That’s right! Trying to change everyone else! Why do we do that? Because if other people change and do the work, then we don’t have to.
InsideOut Empowerment
InsideOut Empowerment is a revolutionary process designed to free your mind, open your heart and transform your life. It takes you on a journey from where you are now to emotional freedom, inner peace, strength and happiness. Do you have hopes, goals and dreams you keep striving for but never reach? Freeing your mind of self-sabotage is the answer. Do you have relationships with others that aren’t going the way you want, whether it’s at home, at work or in your community? Opening your heart is the answer. Do you feel like you are at the mercy of circumstances beyond your control, other people, your character, or your emotions. It’s time to transform your life.
How to Stop Yelling at Our Children
Are you a parent who frequently resorts to a raised voice to get your children’s attention? Do you believe they won’t hear you if you don’t yell? Are you thinking the only way to get them to listen is to yell? Do you think yelling is the best way to get compliance? What other effects to do you think yelling is having on your children? Would you like to consider some alternatives? I was recently asked the following three questions, and thought I’d post them to my blog for you to see:
Business Tip – Corporate Culture
If you are a business leader and find you don’t know what your corporate culture is, you may want to consider aligning your business around a particular culture. Once you do that and communicate it to all your employees, you may have some people who leave because they aren’t comfortable with that particular culture, but the employees who stay will be more loyal and committed to your vision.
Book Review: Little Voice Mastery
Little Voice Mastery by Blair Singer is a book about overcoming self-sabotage. While I think his book is a good beginning primer on self-sabotage, I prefer Gay Hendrick’s book, The Big Leap. In the first half of Singer’s book, he does a good job of explaining self-sabotage, where it comes from and the four reasons people fail. I thought the techniques he wrote about to overcome self-sabotage were good but somewhat elementary.This would be a good book for someone who is first learning about self-sabotage and beginning their journey toward freedom and little voice mastery.