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Radical Acceptance
We tend to destroy our relationships with the destructive relationship habits of complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing and bribing, all in an attempt to get our partner to change. But we rarely get the results we seek. So one thing we can do is to stop using the destructive habits and begin using the healthy relationship habits of listening, supporting, encouraging, trusting, respecting, accepting and negotiating differences.
Book Review:15-Minute Marriage Makeover
15-Minute Marriage Makeover – by Dustin Riechmann
This is a short, 100-page book on how to prioritize your marriage 15 minutes a day in a way that brings huge rewards. It’s perfect for couples in the Maintenance Stage of the Relationship Cycle. After a couple makes a lifetime commitment to each other, they slowly fall into a pattern of living their separate lives and forgot to reconnect with each other in meaningful ways. Even sex can become routine and no longer feel as satisfying as it once was.
Look In, Not Out, for the Answer
Whenever you are frustrated and thinking your problem is another person, it’s likely time to take a good look in the mirror. Our frustration comes from wanting people to do things they don’t want to do. In order to find the peace within that so many of us are seeking, it is helpful to get to a place in our lives where it really is all right for everyone to do whatever they think is best for them.
Transforming Yourself
“When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be.”–Lao Tzu
The first step in the change process is to let go of the familiar and comfortable. While you are holding onto who you are and have been for as long as you can remember, it’s impossible to move forward to who you really want to be. Reinventing yourself means challenging the beliefs you believe about yourself and your limitations. They were probably installed by well-meaning people but when you examine them under the microscope, you can see they no longer serve you.
School Question & Answer
Q: From a school principal using the principles of InsideOut Empowerment:
Here is the dilemma: A second-grade teacher and I have been attempting to help a second grader improve his behavior in school. He does fairly well in the classroom with the teacher nearby, but when he’s in more unstructured situations (cafeteria, bus, playground, etc.) he makes terrible choices over and over. (He is always watching to see if he can “get away with something.”)
The Academy of Choice and the Relationship Center
How are you doing on your goals for 2012? One quarter of the year is over, are you a quarter of your way to where you want to be? If not, what do you need to do to adjust and get yourself on track? You may want to take a look at our Goal Attainment System to help you actually accomplish your goals this year.
Five Solutions for Resistant Employees
As someone who does a lot of leadership training, I am surprised by how training is frequently used as the solution for all staff problems when something else might be more effective. The main factor of success involves doing a proper assessment of the situation, so before we can get to the solutions, we must understand the root causes. W. Edwards Deming says, “If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.”
The No Drama Break Up
When you understand that everyone is doing the very best they can to get the things you want, then there is no need for a drama-filled break up. Why do people break up? Sometimes it’s because of a revelation and sometimes it’s slow building.
California Institution for Women
I just got done teaching/observing a three-day Choice Theory training with 15 inmates and one community member at the California Institute for Women. This was an incredible experience on many levels.