August 22 is designated Be an Angel Day to remind people that no matter what is happening in their lives, they can be angels on earth by demonstrating genuine kindness, compassion, and respect.

I hear about how we need to “provide for our own” before helping others, but who do you consider to be “your own”? I once spoke with someone about having the resources to provide for his family in the case of a society-altering crisis. He wanted to be certain that his family would survive. My response was that sharing with others in need doesn’t necessarily mean his family wouldn’t survive; instead, it could mean that his family and others might survive. This was not something he wanted to risk, however.

When my friend needed a kidney, I was willing to donate one of mine to save his life. After all, I only need one kidney to survive, and I have two so I considered the second one a spare part that could save the life of my friend. It was an easy choice for me. I likened it to running along a beach with two life preservers when someone was in deep water struggling to stay afloat. I could keep both of those life preservers for myself in case one got damaged or lost or someone I loved more than the person currently drowning needed a life preserver in the future. That sounded quite selfish to me.

I admit donating a kidney to someone in need is a big commitment. It’s a greater investment than donating blood or bone marrow, but are we not our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers? How do you know that you, or someone you love, won’t need aid that could be delivered by someone else, but that aid might be withheld because the person capable of rendering it was conserving it on the off chance they might need it in the future?

Being an angel on earth doesn’t require such a big sacrifice, however. It could mean stopping behavior that might be considered hurtful, mean, or disrespectful. The past few days, I have heard some obnoxious online comments harassing Gus Walz, the son of Tim Walz, the vice-presidential candidate, for crying with emotional pride at his father’s big speech at the DNC. It was such a beautiful, pure moment of unadulterated love that it’s sad to me that some people are finding a way to twist it into something aberrant.

Take a moment to think about how your words might affect those you talk about or the people who love them. Being an angel in someone’s life could mean simply running an errand for someone, carrying groceries in from the car, registering a neighbor to vote, writing someone a heartfelt card, or mowing someone’s grass. It could mean looking someone in the eyes, smiling, and simply saying, “Good morning.”

A word of caution, though: Not everyone will want the kind of help you want to offer. In my Mental Freedom program, I emphasize the difference between responsibility and response-ability. For maximum Mental Freedom, you want to take full responsibility for yourself and relinquish a tendency to overtake responsibility for others. However, even when something is someone else’s responsibility, you can still choose to be response-able. When you do, you’ll want to consider the message your actions may send to the person you take responsibility for. It can communicate pity, blame, judgment, or mistrust.

What has worked for me is to offer a menu of things I’m willing to do and ask them what would be helpful or useful. They may choose one, two, all, or none of what I suggested. It’s up to them. I start with, “I would like to…if it would be helpful or useful for you, or you can suggest anything else that would be supportive. If not, I won’t insist. I want to respect your preferences and agency.”

Stealing a line I loved from the original Avatar movie, “I see you.” Sometimes, all it takes to be an angel in someone’s life is to be present, attentive, and caring. This costs nothing but time. I can’t think of a better way to spend one’s time than in service to others. Can you?