In the periodic table, unbalanced elements do not exist. The make-up of our universe requires a perfect balance of protons and electrons. In chemistry class, I learned how this Law of Balance applies to our physical environment. What I didn’t learn back then is how it also applies to the metaphysical world. One of the most interesting and helpful concepts of InsideOut Empowerment is that events are just like these physical elements—they are totally balanced, creating complete symmetry.

All day long, our minds experience what’s happening in our immediate environment and then judge these events as positive, negative, or neutral, all according to our current knowledge, values and preferences. This is a completely natural process, but it doesn’t serve us as we accumulate life experience and judge it incorrectly.

If our physical elements are equally balanced, then our life experiences are as well. The things we perceive as overwhelmingly negative are perfectly balanced with negative and positive aspects. The problem is we only focus on the negatives, causing us to miss the positive benefits within our tragedies and challenges.

Similarly, each wonderful thing in our lives comes with a price or a tradeoff. Nothing is so positive that it doesn’t have its balance with the negative.

What are the implications in this? When we are able to recognize and accept the balance in all things, we are then able to accept whatever life puts in our path. There is no need to waste time feeling indecisive as we weigh pros and cons; we now know the pros and cons are going to be equal. Whatever we do is going to be all right.

With this mindset, those events in our life we didn’t create, those things that happen without our control or influence, can now be painlessly accepted as they come. If some event triggers painful feelings, we can use those feelings as a signal to turn the event over and find the positivity on the other side. We know it’s there—we only have to look for it. Similarly, when we find ourselves overjoyed with a situation, we can choose to experience that joy while being aware of the costs that are hiding on the other side of that joy.

This levels out the emotional rollercoaster ride many of us are on and empowers us to let go of our need to control things, bringing us a complete sense of calm.

When we experience something as completely positive, we have a choice. We can ride out those positive feelings or we can choose to level out the experience by looking for the tradeoff. If we choose the former, we could be blindsided when the negative aspects suddenly become known to us. A more balanced and realistic experience comes from choosing the latter: seeking the balance instead of riding the wave of positivity.

More importantly, when we experience an event as completely negative, we can choose to wallow in that feeling, or we can transmute the experience through a conscious exploration into uncovering the lesson, gift, or opportunity hiding in the experience. It’s always there; we only have to look for it.

People are typically shocked when I suggest this unless they have had the benefit of time. Time makes it easier to see the positive that accompanies the pain. However, when people are in a situation they perceive as extremely negative, they can become paralyzed by their pain. They have no strength in reserve to find the positivity in the situation. However, practicing this proactively before experiencing a paralyzing situation will make it easier when one presents itself. If you immediately begin searching for the lesson, gift, or opportunity whenever you experience something negative, that will become your go-to behavior, even when something ‘big’ happens. It will be your new habit that protects you from the pain. The pain won’t be eliminated, but it will be balanced by the other side.