No person can actually cure another person’s addiction; they have to recognize they have lost power over their own behavior and recognize the need to change. There are some experts who will recommend you either make them quit or you leave. This may work temporarily, but if the motivation to change is not internally motivated, there will be no lasting change.
This plan can even backfire; your boyfriend may just shrug his shoulders as you walk out the door, sending the clear message that his addiction has priority over any relationship he has with you.The good news is you always have at least three options in any relationship.
- You can try to change yourself, so you can adjust better to the situation. You can’t try to change him by nagging, complaining, blaming, criticizing, threatening, or leaving because that shows you are trying to create change from the outside in and that isn’t how it happens for the long-term. You can stop any enabling behavior you may be engaging in. You can change your perception of things and you can also adjust what you want to more closely fit the situation. Read more . . .