There is no easy way to determine whether or not you have done all you can to prevent a divorce because the answer to this question is so individualized. Kyle Cease says, “No one breaks your heart, they break your expectations.” Think about that incredibly profound statement! Anytime you have been hurt or disappointed in your life, it is truly because someone did not do what you expected them to do. End of story!
Trust is the behavior you choose when you want a healthy, connected relationship. When you choose trust, you simultaneously let go of the need to punish your partner. You will stop blaming, criticizing, and stalking your partner—you’ll let go of the idea that they’ll cheat again. You extend your trust because you want to be a trusting person in a trusting relationship.
InsideOut Empowerment Principle #3: Every behavior you choose, including your feelings, is designed to get you something you want. It is always proactive; never reactive, except for instinctual responses, for example sneezing, the startle response, or crying in response to pain. As long as we believe our behavior is reactive, then we are giving power and control to circumstances beyond our control and other people. For example, do you often say in the course of the day, “He makes me so mad”! Or can you hear yourself saying, “This situation is just so frustrating”? Those statements are simply not true. Nothing outside of you can create your emotions or generate a particular behavior in you. Your behavior is always created internally, motivated by and designed to get you something you want.