I have some thoughts about how to turn "lonely"
into simply being alone, without any negative connotations. Do you want to try
Whenever, I've found myself feeling sorry for myself, I find two things to be
very helpful. First, I use the time to take stock of all the things in my life
for which I’m grateful–and there are many. Often we forget those things while
bathing in self-pity. The second thing I find helpful is to find someone else
worse off than me (I never have to look far) and then reach out to do something
kind for that person.
But there are other possibilities. You could use the time to look at your own
behavior to see if possibly you might have contributed to your not getting any
social invitations. If the answer is yes, then make a plan to change some
things in your life to make yourself more like a person who is on other
people’s guest lists.
If you didn’t get invited anywhere this holiday, why not plan something at your
place and you do the inviting? Whoever said you need to be the one to get
Another approach is to treat the holiday just like any other day and do the
things you would normally do if it weren’t a holiday. I know that Saturday, I
was very productive getting caught up on some work issues so that when I did
receive an invitation Sunday, I could accept without any guilt.
Another possibility is to use the day to do something by yourself that would be
enjoyable for you. I like to take drives or get outside in nature to either walk or sit. Reading a book, a warm bubble bath or journaling are also things that will work for me. What works for you?
Another thing to do is to reach out to people who live away or maybe even right around the corner whom you don’t talk
to often. The holiday is a perfect time to catch up with old and dear friends.
I don’t know if any of these ideas have struck a chord with you. What I am
trying to say is that being alone doesn’t have to feel bad. It’s the meaning
you assign the alone time that produces negative feelings.
If you want to feel sad and lonely, go right ahead. There’s nothing I can do to
stop you but if you’d rather feel better, at least feel neutral, then do
something different. You don’t have to choose anything from my list. Maybe you
have some of your own ideas. I’d love to hear them.