I don’t believe in work-life balance. I don’t believe there’s a scale with work on one side and everything else on the other, where the only way to feel satisfied or happy is to keep both sides equally weighted.

The balance point would be different for everyone, depending on their needs and circumstances. And even for the same person, that point can change from one season of life to another. That doesn’t mean I think people should work constantly. Nor do I believe people should spend all their time playing or being with family.

I simply don’t believe there’s a static equilibrium we should all be striving to achieve. And I think we may be asking the wrong question.

Work Isn’t Separate From Life. It’s Part of Life.

Even the phrase work-life balance creates an artificial separation, as though life happens everywhere except at work. For someone who genuinely enjoys meaningful work, that distinction can seem especially strange.

Consider someone whose closest friends are the people they work with. Or someone living with a controlling parent or spouse who experiences more Freedom at work than anywhere else.

And what about someone with a high need for Significance who finds tremendous satisfaction in accomplishing meaningful things through their work?

From the outside, these people might look terribly imbalanced if they spend most of their time working. But are they?

If their work is helping them satisfy important needs, spending more time there isn’t necessarily a problem. The better question is whether the life they’re creating is working for them.

Consider Need Satisfaction Instead

According to William Glasser’s Choice Theory® psychology, we all have five basic needs: Connection, Freedom, Significance, Safety & Security, and Joy. We satisfy these needs in different ways, and we don’t all experience them with the same strength.

Two factors are important: how strong a particular need is for you and how satisfied that need currently is.

A need that’s naturally strong may require considerable satisfaction before you feel content. But when that need is well satisfied, it may not demand much of your attention. Meanwhile, a need that’s naturally weaker may suddenly become your most pressing concern if it’s been neglected.

This is why I don’t think counting hours at work and hours away from work tells us very much about whether someone’s life is satisfying. The more useful question is whether you’re finding responsible ways to satisfy your needs in the circumstances you’re living in.

And there’s another consideration. Sometimes, in our efforts to satisfy one need, we can interfere with another. For example, pursuing more Freedom than we actually need might come at the expense of Connection. Seeking greater Safety & Security through predictability and routine might leave too little room for Joy.

The goal isn’t to maximize every need without limit. It’s to recognize when you have enough satisfaction in each need to feel content with your life.

That’s a very different way of thinking about balance.

Consider the Season You’re In

Sometimes life requires us to give one area more attention than another. A major project at work. A sick family member. Travel. A new baby. Writing a book. Building a business. Grief. Training. Vacation.

Each situation may call for a different allocation of time and energy. And that doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong.

You might temporarily give up some Freedom to care for a family member. But perhaps that choice also satisfies your need for Significance because you’re being the person you most want to be in that situation.

You may be working long hours to launch a business, knowing you’ll have more time for other interests when the immediate demands decrease. Or you may choose to spend less time working because your family needs more of your attention.

These choices can make sense when we understand what we’re trying to accomplish and why.

The important distinction is whether the arrangement is temporary and intentional or whether it has become a chronic pattern that’s leaving important needs unsatisfied.

What works for you on Tuesday may look completely different from what works six months later.

Loving Your Work Can Complicate Things

I’ve written before about the value of creating work you love. When work satisfies several of your basic needs, spending more time doing it isn’t automatically evidence that something is wrong. It may be exactly what you want.