I know I frequently talk about problem identification, meaning the person who is most upset about a situation is the person who owns the problem and is responsible for its solution. But I don't always focus on the initial step. The first step is to ask for what you want. We are not always good at asking directly for what we want, especially the female gender.
We tend to hint around about what we want and then get angry when our significant other doesn't read our mind. When we want something from someone else, whether it's in our personal or professional lives, we owe it to ourselves and the other person to directly ask for what we want.
Who knows? You might actually get lucky and when you ask for what you want, you actually get it. That really does happen. But often it doesn't. And when it doesn't, you are left with the options of suffering in silence, making the other person suffer by trying to make him or her solve YOUR problem, or adjusting yourself to better deal with the issue.
However, don't forget the first step and ask directly for what you want.