Not Everyone Should Become a Coach
If you’ve ever wondered whether you should become a coach, you’re not alone. Coaching is powerful, but it’s not for everyone. Not everyone with a desire to help others is ready to coach. The desire to help is common. The ability to help effectively is developed.
The Common Misconception
Many people think coaching is simple. It’s just like having a conversation with a friend, offering advice, suggesting fixes, and helping them “get things right.”
Coaches need to know how to facilitate awareness, hold space for clients to think and explore what’s on their mind without jumping in, and support their choices, even when they don’t agree with them.
These are skills that are developed in a strong coaching program.
Who Coaching IS a Good Fit For
Coaching may be a good fit for you, if:
- You’re curious about how people think
- You value growth, both yours and others’
- You’re comfortable not providing answers
- You can listen more than you talk
- You want to help people access their own clarity, rather than offering your own
Who Coaching Is NOT a Good Fit For (Right Now)
Sometimes people consider coaching because they:
- Need to be right. Coaching isn’t about being right; it’s about helping others think.
- Want to fix people. People typically aren’t broken, they need support to find clarity and move in the direction they want to go.
- Struggle watching others struggling in uncertainty. Growth often happens in that space.
- Feel responsible for others’ outcomes. You are responsible for your skills as a coach; your clients are responsible for their results.
If you see yourself in any of these, it doesn’t disqualify you from becoming a coach, but they are important tendencies to be aware of.
The Skill vs Personality Shift
The desire to help people is natural; coaching is a skill that can be developed.
Many people begin by doing their own personal work first, because it’s difficult to guide others toward clarity if you haven’t experienced that process yourself.
Learning to listen without formulating your response while the other person is speaking is a skill that can be learned.
A big part of coaching is learning how to ask thought-provoking, often self-reflective questions. I often think of this as asking questions in the style of Socrates.
As a coach, you also help clients develop the ability to regulate their emotions and stay grounded when life gets difficult. These are skills you need to develop in yourself as well, so you don’t become triggered in sessions and unintentionally disrupt the coaching relationship.
This is why doing your own personal work first is so important. It can feel inauthentic, and potentially unethical, to try to take clients to places you haven’t been to yourself. That’s often where something like the Mental Freedom® Experience becomes a natural starting point.
Mental Freedom Connection
Mental Freedom is a proprietary framework I developed to help people take the tenets of William Glasser’s Choice Theory® psychology and integrate them into their lives, creating peace internally while enjoying healthier, more effective relationships externally.
Mental Freedom emphasizes:
- We increase our Mental Freedom when we take responsibility for what is ours and relinquish responsibility for what isn’t.
- We increase our Mental Freedom when we use our own agency instead of expecting others to change so we can feel better.
- We always have choices, and benefit from recognizing them and selecting the option most aligned with who we want to be.
- When we begin to trust others to be who they are, rather than who we want them to be, frustration is reduced.
Pain is a teacher, and there are effective ways to learn from it so you don’t have to keep repeating the same lessons.
You can learn more in What Is Mental Freedom? and its Thee Six Principles of Mental Freedom.
The Real Question
Shift from asking, “Should I become a coach?” to “Am I willing to learn how to help people grow effectively?”
Invitation
If you’re curious, that’s worth exploring.
You can learn more about our Board Certified Coach-approved programs through the Academy of Choice.
And if you’re interested in helping others grow, a meaningful starting place is experiencing this work for yourself through the Mental Freedom Experience. Many people start by exploring this work for themselves before deciding whether to coach others.
Reflection
What draws you toward coaching, and what might hold you back?
