Most people define success the way many power people define it because that’s the definition most of society measures by. Your definition of success shouldn’t be determined by what people in power say it should be, but rather it should be defined by the person you are and what you value most. You might just […]
How many times have you thought you were intervening in someone’s life for their own good? This could look like giving hard-heard advice. Maybe you created a difficult or hurtful situation that you believed would help them in the long run. Or perhaps you coerced someone until they gave in and did what you thought […]
When most people speak about professional wellness, they talk about work/life balance. I think this is a superficial distinction. Work is a part of life so it’s all life. It’s about total balance, but not between work and life. In order to have wellness, personal or professional, you need to balance your needs. What are […]
There’s two days until Christmas, so it’s likely you’ve already made your holiday plans. The CDC, Dr. Fauci and many politicians and leaders are advocating staying home for the holidays. This is a challenging situation and one that, at least in the US, has been left to the individual and the honor system. Current statistics […]
Another designation for the month of August asks us, “What Will Be Your Legacy?” I attribute the natural desire to leave a legacy to the basic human need for Significance. Everyone wants to have an impact, to make a difference and to leave something of themselves behind to be remembered by. Leaving a legacy will […]
Our need for Significance is the focus this week in my series on self-care in anticipation of the publishing of my forthcoming book, Choosing Me Now . You will find the blog Safety & Security and Self-Care. Self-care is more than just taking care of our physical needs like diet, exercise and sleep. Strategic Self-Care […]
Since Choice Theory is often about reducing your use of external control, we tend to shy away from admitting we may have a high power need. The power need is frequently misunderstood; it does not have to mean you are a bully and a control freak. Of course, some people with a high need for […]
InsideOut Empowerment Tenant #4: What you want is based on what feels good to you (increasing pleasure or avoiding pain). Remember, what you want feels good to you. It may not feel good to everyone, especially those close to you. If people know what you want, they may judge you if they don’t think it’s a “good” thing to want. For example, my son quit college 18 credits shy of graduating. I certainly didn’t think that was a good thing. He didn’t want to go further in debt by going another semester. This was his choice, his decision, his life. There were many people in his life, who claim to love him, that told him what a mistake he made. It’s seven years later and he earns a six-figure income in a sales position in a rural area where the cost of living is less than most places in the US. Should he have graduated? Who can say conclusively? Perhaps the stress of owing more money for student loans would have caused him to do something desperate. We’ll never know. All I know is that it was his decision to make and my job was to support him in his right to make it.
