Is procrastination as bad as you think it is? Does it help you or cause you problems? That depends. Sometimes procrastination can help: Do you find yourself procrastinating often? Do […]
Appreciation for the G.L.O.W. is a four-step process that helps you on your path to Mental Freedom®. Each month, I have been dedicating one of my blog posts to my […]
Some links may be affiliate links. We may get paid if you buy something or take an action after clicking one of these Civility -Where is it? The month of […]
Are you someone who believes that external events cause you to feel emotions you have no control over? It’s a common belief. However, when you stop believing that and start […]
If you are following my blogs on Strategic Self-Care, then you already know I have an unconventional, Choice Theory approach to the topic, which will be revealed in my forthcoming […]
Practicing self-care starts with getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, eating healthy and exercising often, but it goes far beyond that. From a Choice Theory® perspective, self-care involves making sure […]
It’s common for people to ask me whether or not their relationship can survive an affair, and my answer is yes. It is entirely possible with these three steps. Step […]
Sometimes your partner might want something that interferes with your ability to have what you want. It is a challenge when this happens because usually your instinctual response it to attempt to get him or her to give up what they want so you can be happy. The problem is, that rarely works.
Recently, I got a lot of mileage about two articles I wrote for www.yourtango.com about the 50 Shades Trilogy. It all started when Your Tango posted story ideas and one of them had to do with why women are so attracted to the Trilogy, with the supposition being that women are sexually repressed. That didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t think the attraction to the books was about sex, although some aspects of the “kinky” sex were definitely attractive. I wanted to help men understand what it was women were so attracted to in Christian Grey so they wouldn’t chalk it all up to being a billionaire, and take themselves out of the running. I then wrote an article for women about how if they want more satisfying intimacy with their partner, then they must stop comparing real people to fictional characters in books, movies and television shows.
One of the things that keeps coming up with the couples I talk to is the natural tendency to want to give what we would most like to get instead of what the other person would want in that situation. I’m not talking about material gifts here; I’m talking about the responses we give to each other. We tend to imagine ourselves in the same situation and provide the solution or response we, ourselves, would want in that situation.