Freedom, Liberty & Justice for All
On the eve of our nation’s Independence Day, I am reminded of the quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: “None of us is free until all of us are […]
Tag: freedom
Freedom and Self-Care
If you are following my blogs on Strategic Self-Care, then you already know I have an unconventional, Choice Theory approach to the topic, which will be revealed in my forthcoming […]
Finding Balance in Relationships
One of man’s biggest internal struggles is the conflicting needs of independence and connection. They seem to be mutually exclusive. How can you have independence and be connected at the […]
Rewarding Your Children to Get Compliance is Not the Best Idea
As parents, when it comes to discipline, there are many methods we may employ. While there is no perfect way to parent, there are many popular practices that not only […]
Discipline, Consequences, and Punishment
Punishment and discipline are often used interchangeably, yet their meanings couldn’t be more different. The Latin root of punishment means “to inflict pain,” while the Latin root of discipline means […]
Pain Must Exceed Fear
InsideOut Empowerment Principle # 8: People do not change until the pain of staying the same exceeds their fear of change. You may have a superficial desire for something but until you can drill down deep enough to discover your real soul reason for wanting to make a change, it won’t happen. And then you will want to examine just how painful it will be to do nothing. Really flesh out the scenario. You want to create as much psychic pain as you can muster so you will make a change. Sometimes just wanting something is not enough. It must be more painful to do nothing than to risk the change.
We Want What Feels Good To Us
InsideOut Empowerment Tenant #4: What you want is based on what feels good to you (increasing pleasure or avoiding pain). Remember, what you want feels good to you. It may not feel good to everyone, especially those close to you. If people know what you want, they may judge you if they don’t think it’s a “good” thing to want. For example, my son quit college 18 credits shy of graduating. I certainly didn’t think that was a good thing. He didn’t want to go further in debt by going another semester. This was his choice, his decision, his life. There were many people in his life, who claim to love him, that told him what a mistake he made. It’s seven years later and he earns a six-figure income in a sales position in a rural area where the cost of living is less than most places in the US. Should he have graduated? Who can say conclusively? Perhaps the stress of owing more money for student loans would have caused him to do something desperate. We’ll never know. All I know is that it was his decision to make and my job was to support him in his right to make it.
To Be Exclusive or Not . . . That is the Question: 7 Reasons for or Against Commitment
Statistics show younger people are more likely to have children than to get married. Older people who are getting involved romantically are finding it less and less reasons to get married. Why has marriage gotten such a bad reputation?
Balancing Independence and Connection in Relationships
One of man’s biggest internal struggles involves the need for both independence and connection. They seem to be mutually exclusive. How can you have independence and be connected at the same time? This struggle rages within individuals daily.
Negotiating Quality Time Together and Apart
One of the harder things for couples to negotiate is how much quality time to spend with each and how much time to spend apart. This is especially true when one partner’s highest need is for love & belonging and the other person’s highest need is for freedom.
