This month’s InsideOut Empowerment Challenge is about looking beyond behavior to its purpose. All behavior is purposeful. Every behavior is a person’s best attempt to get something they want at that particular time to more effectively meet one of their five basic needs.
Whatever behavior a person engages in is their best attempt to get something he or she wants, even our emotions. We choose our behaviors based on what we believe to be our best chance to get what we want. This is not always a conscious choice, but it is a choice nonetheless. This is not to blame the victim but rather to empower the victim by helping them understand they choose their behavior and so consequently can choose to do things differently if they want to.
Today I spoke with a mother who wants a closer relationship with her 22 year-old daughter. The reason their relationship is strained is because this woman’s daughter dropped out of college and the mother is hurt by this decision. She wants her daughter to finish, knowing this will be better for her future.